


Jeffandrew Fucks Up (And Subsequently Gets Wrecked)

by verdantElf



Series: Not canon for And I 'verse [3]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: And I will, Gen, Not Beta'd, Punching, Taako's not a Real Boy, by, ficlet for an au, ohjustdisarmalready, specifically punching of jeffandrew, yet - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-29 05:53:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12624639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verdantElf/pseuds/verdantElf
Summary: Jeffandrew gets fuckin' decked.





	Jeffandrew Fucks Up (And Subsequently Gets Wrecked)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ohjustdisarmalready](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohjustdisarmalready/gifts).
  * Inspired by [And I Will](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12434082) by [ohjustdisarmalready](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohjustdisarmalready/pseuds/ohjustdisarmalready). 



> Wrote this little thing because after I read 'And I Will' by ohjustdisarmalready, I had the overwhelming urge to have someone punch Jeffandrew, even if I couldn't. Go read it!! It's very very good, and this won't make much sense until you do.
> 
> EDIT: Whoops, part of it didn't post. Fixed now!

Lup groans, and picks her head up from the cold metal floor. She looks around, and is not surprised to see her brother and the rest of the crew scattered around, also waking up, red robes and jackets splayed out awkwardly because of the way they landed. The only one not here is Davenport; he'd insisted on staying with the ship while the rest of them completed their mission.

That mission? Find Jeffandrew, and punch him in the face, as hard as possible.

Everyone would get a turn, they had decided, though for obvious reasons Taako would get first crack. After having finally removed all the limits, barriers, bonds, and installing a whole lotta mods, Taako finally had complete free will. Lup and Barry were absolutely sure it would hold, and they had looked so proud, both of themselves, and of Taako, for getting this far, for fighting this hard.

Magnus, naturally, suggested the next step: Finding the entity that had put them all, especially Taako, through this, and soundly decking it. Lup agreed, and from there, their research on how to get to the outer-plane began.

And now they were here. She looked up from her friends, looking at the room they found themselves in. It was large, with a somewhat domed top, and displays lining every wall. It was beautiful, just as Taako said it had been. Lup got to her feet, and pulled Taako up with her. Magnus was the next to rise, pulling both Merle and Lucretia with him. Lup looked down and realized that Barry had not gotten up, having somehow lost his glasses in the fall. Behind them, as nasal and shocked voice spoke, sounding offended.

"How did you get in here? Who are you? Hey! Are you the ones that broke my bot?!" The indescribable obnoixiousness came closer, and Lup heard the crunch of Barry's glasses under its foot. It didn't even seem fazed. The way Taako stiffened up comfirmed Lup's suspicions - this was the infamous Jeffandrew.

Lup stepped forward, slightly in front of her brother. "Hey, that's my twin you free-will stealing fuck!" Not her best, but she was too angry to come up with much else. The being looked shocked, and stormed closer. It was just what Lup was waiting for. In a motion almost too fast to perceive, Lup grabbed the thing by the neck, slid behind it, and held it in a chokehold. It sputtered, unable to do anything. They had come prepared.

Taako, slightly shaking, stepped forward. "Taako's got a bone to pick with you, kemosabe. Pucker up!" And with that, Taako landed a punch straight into Jeffandrew's nose, creating a vaguely sickening crunching noise. Jeffandrew bucked, unable to do anything, and yelled, "What the fuck!?" Before it could say anything else, though, Magnus had moved into Taako's place, and was already socking him in the jaw. Barry, by following the sounds and the blurry figures, stepped up to the metaphorical plate. Lup watched him consider Jeffandrew for a moment, before deciding he'd just go for the biggest target, as not to miss. Barry punched its middle, and the being wheezed as it had been hit right in what passed for its solar plexus.

Magnus lead Barry out of the way as Merle came up behind them, to face Jeffandrew. "Now, son, I'm not gonna punch you, but I do have to tell you I'm mighty dissapointed. Keeping sentient beings as slaves? Really?" He shook his head regretfully, and moved toward Taako and the others. Jeffandrew looked more lost than anything else, and Lup rolled her eyes. For planet-building entities, they sure were dense, weren't they?

Lucretia was still standing where they had first landed, and Lup saw that she had been recording everything that had happened. "Lucy! You gonna join in on the fun?" Lup called at her.

Jeffandrew once again squirmed and yelped shrilly, "Fun? This is not fu-" And was promptly cut off when Lup unconcerningly tightened her grip on its neck. It grasped at her arm patheticly.

Walking closer, having also ignored Jeffandrew's indignition, Lucretia pulled back her fist, and with her voice dripping with gravitas, said, "Fuck you, and your shitty musuem." The punch landed where Magnus's had, and Jeffandrew groaned at the stacked pain.

As Lucreatia stepped back, shaking her hand a little, Lup flipped her grip on Jeffandrew, and leaned in real close. "You ever touch my brother again, and I'll kill you." While it was still looking shocked, she simeltaniously brought her knee up where most being's genitals were, and used her free hand to go for his already broken nose.

Jeffandrew went down. Hard.

From all of their Stones of Farspeech, Davenport's voice spoke up, "You have about 30 seconds left, guys."

"No problem, my guy, Taako's - we're all - done here," Taako responed.

For thirty seconds, they all watched in morbid fascination as Jeffandrew whined in pain.

And then they were in the Starblaster's Lab, sitting in a carefully drawn chalk spell circle.

"How was it?" Asked Davenport, looking at the increasingly satisfied faces of his crew.

They all looked at each other, and began to talk. Lup looked over at Taako, who hadn't said a word.

He was grinning at her, as hard as he could.

She grinned back.


End file.
